I did it. Got a trash bag, put all the drawings from my childhood in, squirted ketchup all over them, then some water (to insure mold production), tied it up and threw it in the dumpster.
What a glorious feeling to throw things away. Especially things that have been saved for so long. You should really try it. Once you start, you won't go back to holding on to things. Anyway I think my mother would have a heart attack if she knew what I just did. At least I scanned & saved some first. (the ones I put on here.) Now I'm looking at the box that has my school yearbooks in it.
Oh, you're wondering why I'm 37 and keep mentioning my mom? Cause I had to come live with her when I got punched in the head by west nile, back in December. Had no idea what was wrong with me. MRI's showed marks on my brain, and I was having seizures in my sleep. Memory was non-existent and I couldn't hardly finish a sentence without a long pause in the middle. So my kid went to live with her dad, I had to let my apartment and my job go, and I came out here. Finally, months later, a lumbar puncture was ordered because they thought it might be MS. Well guess what. It was west nile. I know. I was shocked and so was everyone I know. It's gone now, all I have now are the antibodies.
So now, I need to get used to driving again. Some friends have been keeping my car at their house, they use it occasionally, which is good. On Oct 2 I get the results back on my last MRI. If the coast is clear, I'm good to go. This means employment and eventually, my own place once more. I have been on my own for so long, and it was quite a culture shock to have to come here and be dependent on another person. But I'm thankful. It's been good. And I'm all better. What more could I ask for?
I already decided where to work, there's a mall not too far from here. And as far as apartments go, I got my eye on Carrollton. Both my sisters live over that way, and both are spawning, and need my help. Or so I like to think. Since my kid is with her dad, I can get something tiny. There's one bedroom studios for $500/month! And they're cute! This is less than what I was paying at the little grungy place I had in Red Oak. You know, where I buried my dog out back, cause I could. Actually I got a neighbor to do it. This is also the place where I am 100% positive I got the west nile. But that's another story. Another blog entirely.
This morning I was reading my Bible, in Matthew.
For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost.
What do you think? If any man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go and search for the one that is straying?
And if it turns out that he finds it, truly I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine which have not gone astray.
Matt. 18:11~13
The other night when Leah & Ali & I sat at Starbucks and I showed them what was in my change purse (I refuse to carry a normal purse, for a variety of reasons), one of the things they laughed at was the fact that I had this little tiny sheep in there. I put it on the table and they were like, "what?" I just laughed. Too long of a story.
The truth is, it's a sign for somebody. I keep it on me, because you never know when you might run into someone. But, this person has moved, so chances are slim I'll ever see him again. That, and the fact I was hostile to him recently. Between these 2 factors, this little sheep will never reach it's destination. Therefore, it has been scanned in and posted on a blog. Said recepient may or may not see this, but if he does, I'll explain:
You know you never saw me without there being something in my pocket for you, right? Well, the last time we talked in person, you remember that day? We stood by the door. When you left, I turned around and straightened the shelves. There, on the shelf, directly behind where I stood, was this little sheep.
Immediately the verse above came to mind.
Not only as a sign that His will was carried out, and that you were greatly cherished in His sight, and greatly missed~ BUT~ that you too have a calling. Remember what I told you? Think sheep?
Smiling? I sure hope so.
Laughing at me? Highly likely. I never meant for any of that to happen. I had no idea that God would hijack our communications like He did.
That's all I know, for now.
